Originally posted by asyoulikeitnow

Hey friends, Abby here! Today we’re talking about a bit of a new topic, though I’ve talked about writing love before. However much I’ve talked about characters falling in love before, I haven’t covered them falling out of it in the past. So, that’s what we’re going to do today.

It’s a strange feeling to fall out of love, and it can happen in a lot of different ways. Sometimes the person you’re in love with changes so they’re not who you loved in the first place, or sometimes the spark between two people fades or disappears completely.

Choosing how your character fall out of love comes with a lot of analyzation of their relationship. What would make this happen to the two of them? Try to brainstorm a handful of ideas, and remember things like this often don’t happen for one reason alone. This is often treated as a drastic change (and has a right to be), so it’s not something to be taken lightly; unless the relationship was unstable in the first place, this sort of thing shouldn’t be happening because they like different dressings on their salad.

The Realization & First Reaction

How do your characters figure out they’re falling out of love? Is it something that happens all at once, like someone snapping their fingers, or are they looking at pictures from years passed and wondering how that feeling slowly disappeared? When a character realizes they’re falling out of love, there are two basic options for them to choose between: they can accept it and move on, or they can fight to get that feeling back. I’m sure you could guess which would be harder for you, but depending on the character it’s a bit of a toss-up.

The very first decision is quick and pretty easy, if the character is in a stable relationship. They’ll usually want to stay, if nothing else for fear of hurting their partner(s). This decision is often followed by a quick brainstorming session by that character, figuring out what’s worked in the past and devoting themselves to trying all that again. The amount of effort they put into getting the feeling back is directly affected by how badly they truly want this feeling back.

How Does This Affect the Character?

Your character is going to be going through a lot of emotional tumult during this time. You could probably imagine them feeling all sorts of things: guilt, sadness, anger, frustration, just to name a few. The strength of these feelings usually depends on how close they were to their partner(s) in the first place. If this feeling has been happening for a while and they just noticed it, they’ll probably be more at peace with themselves. This answer would give them more clarity and probably put them more at ease.

However, if a character is realizing it when their relationship is at its peak, their reaction will likely be very different. They probably believe they’d just gotten to a good place with their partner(s), so this whole issue would throw a wrench in everything. No matter what, this feeling and the realization will likely take a huge toll on your character; you just have to figure out how.

Acting on the Feeling

How does your character react, once that initial devotion to getting the feeling back fades? Does it fade at all? Depending on how your character faces the situation, this might be the time for a heart-to-heart scene about everything that’s been happening. These talks often involve tears and a lot of emotion.

Maybe the character will just leave without giving a reason, or maybe they’ll force themselves to talk about it, or maybe they’ll stay in the relationship despite their lack of romantic feelings. Your character has some point has to do something; even choosing inaction here is an action for them.

Everything that follows is a Toss-Up Extreme™ depending on your group’s dynamic, so everything afterwards is completely up to you as a writer to decide. Falling out of love is usually a tough subject to write, because we’re so used to the concept of breaking up because of other circumstances. Don’t forget: if your character has a dynamic personality, then their emotions should carry that same quality.

So, that’s all I’ve got for you today! If there’s anything you’d like to see in my next post, my ask is always open; until next time, stay lovely! <333